My blog has recently been discovered by a health and fitness magazine who have approached me to appear in the next issue, sporting all my running glory. It seems they stumbled across my site through some search combination of “fat and couch potato” and would like me to take part in an article supporting the claim that you can be both fat and fit.
I somehow agreed, in part due to my inability to say no to almost anything (a fact which almost saw me married to a Jamaican bus driver who produced air tickets to his homeland, where he intended us to celebrate our nuptials, all after my second ride in his no 52 bus). I am kicking myself now (about the magazine not the bus driver), the interview went fine but I am due to attend a “photo shoot” tomorrow.
This is just not my cup of tea! I have had a phone call from the mag to discuss details for tomorrow. They want to know about my bras. They want to know if I have skin or white bras, what type they are and if they are frilly. I don’t possess anything in skin, its far too silence of the lambs for my liking, I have white or was once white but I really don’t want to go showing it to anyone, especially not readers of a magazine or worse, freaky internet weirdos pretending to be magazine photographers.
I have to have my hair done too and make up, and I have to wear clothes that they provide! I wonder if they know how difficult it is for the ample woman to buy sporting gear. Size 16 cycle clothes have got to be the equivalent of size 8 in M&S. I can just see them squeezing me into some horrendous hot pant and tank top combo with my
off-white grey bra bulging out the side, and lipstick. Uggh! Then they are going to photograph me and I’m going to have my sulking face on and they are going to splatter me across some magazine page and my friends are gonna see and I’ll never live it down!
Where’s the wine? I need to drink and then go to bed and sleep right the way through tomorrow and then I can come back and delete this post like it was some terrible nightmare I managed to live through.