A Girl Uncovered

Well what can I say, it seems there’s a girly girl in me somewhere.

I’ve been through the beauty mangle today. I’ve had my hair straightened, which is some going cos I don’t have much, and I’ve had my lips painted and my eyes daubed. I think the make-up artist was pulling her hair out with me as I’m not used to someone attacking my eyeballs with a black stick and quite predictably I kept closing them and ruining her art work.

I had to wear ridiculously clingy, pastel “leisure wear” which sent my blood pressure rocketing but which also revealed a never before uncovered cleavage. I’ve never had so many photos taken of me, never smiled as much and never had so many ladies fussing and preening over my clothes and hair. I could get used to that. Nice to have someone popping over every now again to dab at my greasy brow with a powder brush.

If I don’t wake up soon and pull myself together I reckon I’ll have a boyfriend by next weekend.

We had to do a crappy fitness test as well. I say crappy because although it correctly identified my lung capacity as exceptional (ahem) it suggested my upper body strength was poor. Poor?! I could have bench pressed the guy who was testing us. How dare they say I’m weak? I’m hugely strong. That’s done my bonce in and I’m gonna have to borrow Deege’s Better Body for Men book.

I would like to say that this post marks the end of all discussion of a make-up and underwear slant but I have just picked up a parcel from the post office containing a miracle of scaffolding design by enell. I think this will warrant a post all of its own and my prediction is that there will be a Bushy Park pb on its way tomorrow courtesy of this great contraption.

Anyway how does one get rid of waterfproof mascara – I’m sure there’s some turps under the sink…….

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8 comments

  1. Well done on the newfound fame.

    See you in the park tomorrow!

    My suggestion is to wear grippy shoes (it will be sunny but very wet underfoot!)

    I’ll also make sure the troops are organised ready to give you a hard time all the way down the finishing straight :o)

  2. Oh my god – have you seen the google ads for this post – bali panties???? What the heck are they? I’m happy with cycling and running specific ads, but scanty lingerie ads are just too much. This is a respectable blog you know!

  3. I find it helps if you avoid keywords like lingerie in your text and comments. Also don’t menion lycra, rubbish, nurses or fantasies. I’ll be at BPTT tomorrow… not I just have to work out what to wear 🙂

  4. How exciting for you!!

    Does the google search pick up comments too?? Should we avoid words like lingerie, panties, underwear, lycra, sexy…. Oops, now I’ve gone and said them!

  5. I hope we are going to see a copy of this article when published. Particularly intrigued after this post to see how glam you are going to look.

  6. All dirty words are now banned on this website!
    The latest search string directing a hit on the warriorwomen site was: “Pictures of Bushy legs of Women”.
    This will not do!
    There must be a weirdo banning plugin available for wordpress somewhere.

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