Big Fat Sitting Duck

Hardcore workouts appeal to me, at least the “idea” of hardcore exercise appeals. I have a copy of Insanity and have once attended a British Military Fitness class, I’ve even watched Jillian Michaels on the telly and I can confirm that it was a brutal experience.

The latest initiative by UKpaintball.co.uk may well be a step too far.

Overweight folk are being invited to part with £199 and sign up for 10 sessions of target practice.

Just to make it clear – the fatties are the target.

The idea is that the participants will be unarmed and have to run the gauntlet while staff take pot shots at them with the paint guns.

“There will be several shooters in place and so it’s unlikely any of those involved will be in a safe area for too long, which, combined with wanting to avoid getting hit, should result in a lot of running around, shedding hundreds of calories in the process.”

I’m sure it’s good exercise but what on earth would encourage you to go back again for sessions 2-10? I imagine that after you’ve admired the array of bruises on your wobbly bits and scrubbed the remains of the emulsion from your skin, a gentle jog in the local park will look far more attractive.

Maybe you can progress through the ranks and swap kg’s for ammo and armour – first kilogram lost gets you a shield and when you reach your weight loss target you are rewarded with a pump action, sawn-off, paintball accelerator so you can get your own back on the staff who’ve had free rein with your nerve endings for the last few sessions.

“Getting hit by a paintball can really sting and so I’m sure anyone who takes a shot will be even keener to avoid the next one, which will hopefully enable them to burn even more calories.”

The company believes that fear based exercise could well be the next big thing but I’m not sure if I’d be brave enough to sign up for this level of torture, I’d be worried that they’d turn the session over to the latest stag party and I’d end up cowering by the nearest tree like a big fat sitting duck.

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3 comments

  1. For two hundred quid I’ll come round to your house and zap you with a taser every time you sit down or try to eat something. Think of it as the personal trainer version with the paint balling being a cheap gym in January.

    It sounds like just a mean and nasty thing to do who are worried about their bodies. Boo, boo and boo again!

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